Fine Line Between Geekiness and Asshole-ly-ness.

A couple of old friends of my parents are back in town this week, visiting their kid, who is doing his grad studies in town and wanted to get together with my parents tonight (to play poker). Somehow, all of this intricate planning led to both our families going out to eat at a buffet together. While at this dinner, the conversation somehow veered towards the meaning of "zhe" in Chinese vernacular. In particular, what it means when a vendor in China gives you "3 zhe", "5 zhe", or "8 zhe". (For those of you not in the know, that's offering the item at 30%, 50%, and 80% original price, respectively). Someone brought up that this was actually on a standardized test for Chinese comprehension here in the states, which, needless to say, messed up several university bound kids while taking it (not like any of US ever had to haggle prices with a Chinese street vendor).

It was generally agreed upon at the table that the concept of "zhe", despite being in such wide use, is rather slang-ish and probably shouldn't be part of a standardized test system. At this point, the visiting mom made the observation that asking this could be considered fair game in that it helps one understand the "culture" of China. At that point, her son, who shall be referred to as K from here forth (no, his name does not start with K, so don't bother), interjected to her that all language is a reflection of culture.

K: "For example, 'What's your name?' doesn't mean what you think it means. It's literally asking what is 'your name', and I can answer 'It's two words.' and I would be correct."
K's mom: "True, but I was referring to some things that are in Chinese that might not be in English, like 'zhe' and other such things."
K: "Fine, give me an example."
K's mom: "Wo men qu chi fan."
K: "Let's go eat. But that's totally not what it means! Let's go eat doesn't make any sense. 'Eat' isn't a place, you don't 'go' there. It's an action, it has no meaning. You are asking for permission, like: 'let's go eat?' But you are not saying it."
K's mom: "I'm talking about the Chinese saying."
K: "Let's go eat, what does that even mean? Where is eat? How do YOU get there? It's not a place."

And so it went towards awkwardness until K's dad cut them off with a pleading look in his eye. But then K is still not satisfied.

K: "'Let's go eat.' What does that even mean? See, YOU don't understand language thru meanings in words, YOU remember it as a collection of cultural conventions."
Me: "ACK!"

*Everyone paused and stared at me. I tried (somewhat unsuccessfully) to pass it off as something I just ate.*

Later, my mom related a story of how she sat through a workshop at work that taught her how to converse more "politely" at work. (Instead of saying: "It's not my responsibility", say "It's so-and-so's responsibility, so-and-so should be able to help you.") Invariably, K had to offer his opinion.

K's mom: "Yeah, being polite is really nice, makes people feel better."
K: "The very definition of 'politeness' is lying. You are not saying how you really feel. If you are being polite, you are lying. When you are being polite, you are telling a lie."

I suppose it's fair game to say that K is doing his grad studies in English. His mom is more or less talking in Chinese, he's responding in English (because he doesn't really speak Chinese). And umm.. he's a big philosophy guy (loves Nietzsche). That said, what an asshole. Even made me lose my cool a bit.

Look, on the surface, everything he says is right. For example, in French, "What's your name?" translates to "Comment t'appelle vous?" Which actually means "what do you call yourself?" And being polite is somewhat deceiving. But there's a fine line between asserting something like that and, well, calling out your mom as a fool, such as he did.

Despite the title of this post, there's actually a pretty distinct and easily identified line between being a geek and being an asshole.

1) The geek doesn't think or feel any superior to the people who don't know just because he knows. Sure, he may be proud of his knowledge or way of thinking, but he doesn't think that knowing automatically makes him a better person than everybody else. An asshole, needless to say, does.
2) The geek uses his wisdom to teach and inform. The only thing that excites him more than finding other people who knows is teaching and conveying such knowledge to someone who doesn't know. But he finds joy and uses excitement in the process of disseminating knowledge, he does not find frustration nor does his use belittlement and ridicule as a means of spreading the information.
3) The geek doesn't embarass people in front of others just because he might know something (especially if it's mostly based on the fact that YOU speak ENGLISH much better than YOUR MOM). The moment the geek actively uses his knowledge to try to humiliate anyone, he crosses the line into being an asshole.
4) The geek understand who he is and find it slightly humourous that he would possess such a trivial nuggest of wisdom. He realizes that it is rather useless to know such things but he couldn't help himself and he just had to find out! He is a bit embarrased by this obvious lack of restraint and indulgence.
5) Nothing pisses the geek more than an asshole.
6) The geek makes lists.

That's all I can think of at this moment, I'm sure I'll add more later.

Yes, I'm a geek.

Though sometimes, I'm an asshole. :P

Let's finish this off with something funny and geeky, but non-assholish. Like me. :D